i hate myself.
really.
why my world is controlled by you?
how you can conquer my world easily?
since da 1st day got 2 noe u,
my defence in my inner world is getting weaker.
until now,
its fragile.
perhaps da mechanism jz like HIV virus,
broke down da immunity system.
wuteva i do,
wuteva i c,
i still got da image of u.
uhm, is this suppose 2 b a psychology sickness??

drama's fever

watchin a long episodes TVB drama.

i've been sacrificed my sleeping time in order 2 finish da drama quickly.

thx 2 my mum & my sis.

they had done a great job 4 'sia'-ing me 2 watch dat drama.

frankly, i have little resistance over drama. =.=

oh ya, dat drama is known as ' heart of greed'.

not a bad show afterall.

it's all about da property battles in a big family.

its stry is not dat creative & fresh,

but all da old hags acting r damn good.

especially one lao yi in da drama,

dang cruel.

really make u hate her in your heart.

dats truly a big success of it.



well, i continue 2 chase this drama again.

it touched me & make me wake after i watched dat scene.

a guy, who worked as a lawyer,

was concentrating 2 think solution 4 her dream gal while he is driving,

which is oso a lawyer 2 win da court case.

he is too concentrate 2 think of da solution & bang by a car.

he planned 2 propose 2 her though.

after da accident,

he is in internal injury but still call da gal 2 tell her da solution, while he is dying.

& da gal still feel sweet in d other head.

after he put up da phone, he jz gone.

dat's really bad.

this make me realise dat we gotta cherish every moment wif your love ones.

gotta take action quickly if really love a gal.

don make yourself regret in this life.

maybe im thinking too much,

think thoroughly every aspect.

well, i really don wana regret in my whole life.

but wut i need is courage....

now.. i realised like a people secretly is dang suffering..
u hv 2 keep da secret away from da gal u really like,
& will get nervous ( some sort of dat ) when see or talk 2 her, without any point.
maybe she jz treat dat as bestie action,
but why da hell i care so much bout everything, like 'is our conversation interesting?'
' is she really dat bugged into da conversation?'
dat's senseless.
sumtimes get insomnia jz because of miss her so much till cant sleep.
is dat worth 2 sacrifice my quality of sleeping, & she nvr noe dat i miss her dat much??
when guyz approach her,
ya, i admit it.
jealousy attacks me.
but i wont make it too obvious. muahahahz...
ppl would ask, ' since u like her dat much, go propose 2 her larhz.'
okie, i would, if i hv da golden chance.
but, firstly, i dunno wut & how she thinks about me.
secondly, i cant bare da failure.
im not worried being rejected, cuz i noe dat's a part of this.
wut i cant bare is lose da friendship.
im worried she wont talk 2 me anymore,
no more jokes,
no more outing,
no more fun.
really worried dat this would happen on me.
i rather remain silence than lose a friendship.
i rather suffer alone, but not 2 lose a chance 2 talk 2 her.
argh.........
wut am i gonna do?
its suffering & pain.
jz let time heal everything..........
amen!!